Pieces of me. March 31, 2016.
It has been a long time I know since last I blogged; and it has been one year this month since I had two back to back surgeries for the removal of fibroids (tumors), a cyst, and my left ovary. That was a very difficult time for me and even now I find myself brought to tears remembering the months leading up to the surgery and the days and month after.
I will say a lot happened. In that moment I found out who really loved me and the ones that said they would be there for me were there, all except one. And while I wouldn’t say he was quite like Judas I felt like I’d lost a disciple,a piece of my heart, someone I considered one of my closest friends, someone who told me he was my biggest fan.
Friendships and Family relationships are very important to me. I was going through one of the lowest points in my life and this person plain and simply wasn’t there for me. That hurt me to my core. I have never gotten the apology I felt I so deserved. However I know we must learn to forgive. I’ve buried that pain but I know I need to let it go (with time).
Overall in life in general I am in a much better place. How Blessed am I and was I my Lord and my God to have been enveloped in a world of love from all directions I wish I could count all the people or list every single one of you but the number is far beyond what I would have or could have imagined. You guys have no idea how much I appreciate, love, value, and thank you.
My life has been full of amazing and beautiful moments since having surgery. Moments that started off one day when I was looking at my passport (I’d pulled it out to fax over a copy of it with a job application for employment with the government…I got the job). As I took the passport off of the scanner I thought to myself I need to go somewhere, travel, and I needed some stamps in my new passport. Following that thought, either that day or the very next day I received a text from my friend Clem she asked if I wanted to go to Puerto Rico. I thought long and hard about it because there was a very important day coming up that same weekend. After much thought and consideration I said yes. It turned out to be a wonderful decision. It felt like a Celestine Prophecy moment truly. I had never been to Puerto Rico. I immediately knew I was supposed to go. It was no coincidence that Clementine texted me at that moment when my thought just prior was of traveling. And while traveling to PR required no passport or stamp ( I am a US Citizen/American)I still took it because we would be traveling to the island so I thought it best to take it for any number of things.
The Puerto Rico trip was one of the best trips of my life. Thank you Clem. It gave me a chance to spend time with my long time friend. Have a wonderful and meaningful girls trip and the opportunity to meet so many amazing people there. I made friends in PR that I consider to be life long friends. So many beautiful people and I am not just talking beautiful on the outside but on the inside. We even presented trophies at Tim Gardner’s Inaugural Puerto Rico Pro show another beautiful unexpected synchronous moment.
(Side Note: Long before I got sick I had asked a promoter about presenting trophies at his show he never got back to me. He said, “He needed to ask his wife”. The show turned out to be a disaster. I am glad he didn’t get back to me. Everything happens for a reason)
When I presented trophies at Tim’s Gardner’s Puerto Rico Pro Show in that moment I knew it was because God had something better for me he had the PR Show, how beautiful is that.
(Just now as I write this an aha moment came to me an insight, a realization as Merriam Webster defines it. I just realized these things were supposed to happen to reveal the greatness and power of God. I was going to write how beautiful it was that God loved me enough to have me wait for something better but I realized God loved me enough to show his greatness through me by these events. )
I mentioned earlier that I got the government Job. Well I did it so happened I received a call while in the Airport as I was traveling back from PR. I later came to realize the job was not to be a long term position but an experience that I needed to go through and to be an Angel for a few people that needed me in that moment. I was on an assignment or called there because the people who needed me put it out into the universe. One person in particular was going through what I had just been through leading up to surgery. I was able to share my experience with her and passed along the information for my doctor. Others just needed me to help them and guide them a little ways on their fitness journey’s and well, 🙂 Big Smile that is what I do. That is why I’m here. I found my passion and am following my Bliss as the late great Mr. Joseph Campbell described or rather coined. When I knew my time was up due to events and signs that it was time to go I gave my resignation and moved on. I am glad I did and though I think about those that I have helped from time to time I am thankful and glad I moved on. I don’t look back because I am here in this moment and this is a beautiful moment.
Also within the past year I have have received my re-certification in fitness, and certified in two new specializations. Women’s Fitness, and Youth Fitness. I am now with a wonderful new company and continue to do what I love.
As for my own training, I train daily sometimes on my own and other times with my Fit Family whom I love dearly and thank God for.
Do Vitamins hands down the best supplement company and super supportive team now Proudly sponsors me. I can not thank God or the Do Vitamins team enough for their support and faith in me. (inserts prayer hand emoji ) Thank you.
My health looks great. My results from my last doctor visit for my check up / exam came back normal.
My mental health, emotions, health, and fitness are really great, balanced, and a 180 from last year.
I’ll compete again in time.
All my best,
“You know, life fractures us all into little pieces. It harms us, but it’s how we glue those fractures back together that make us stronger.”
― Carrie Jones